I don’t know how or when but there will be an end all apocalypse. Most people choose to believe that things like this will never happen and other say that a second coming will decide our fate. But this is how things will really go down. First, due to some yet unknown cause, there will be the forever mentioned zombie apocalypse.
Front Cover of "The Do-it-Yourself Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse" (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It’s only a matter of time before some undiscovered disease or virus or food poisoning will rear its ugly head and wreak havoc through our weak and underdeveloped immune systems. Or some dumb ass will just track some prehistoric Dino shit through a lab somewhere and doom us all. Either way, people will lose their ever-loving minds and tear through the living like a bulimic cannibal.
Now mind you, not everybody will perish in an inhumane way, but most of you will be consumed. I’m not being hateful; just stating the facts. And you know who you are. Now, back to the aforementioned human destruction. Those of us who survived will eventually see the end of these flesh-eating bastards. But not without a price.
Unfortunately for those of us who survived, our imminent demise is not far away. There is a small problem called technology. By the time the zombies come our technology will have advanced a little. As it is already, most electronics do things that Steven Hawkins wheelchair can’t even do. And when artificial intelligence is left to its own devices (ha) things go haywire. (haha) Soon enough our computers and advanced cells phones will wipe out the rest of who managed to survive. (Maybe we should take out Japan while we still can) Complete and under chaos will ensue. I won’t go into too much detail, as I will have taken cover with the last few civilians and don’t feel it’s necessary to share my survival skills with the un-equipped. But how, do you ask, can anybody possibly survive an endless all-consuming apocalypse? The complete and utterly mad.
Think twice about your crazy uncle with the tinfoil hat because it’s those fine individuals who will become your saving grace in the end. They will have already gone ape shit crazy long before the robots come about because it was the government all along who infected us with this brain munching disease and will have constructed safe houses and underground cities. Say what you will, but I’ll take my chances with crazy aunt Ethel over slave bearing robots. And if you’re reading this saying aloud to yourself, ‘this girl is 3 sides of nuts’, just remember who will have their head cracked open like a rotten egg first.
~E~
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