Every day for the past 2 months has been a Badass Day.
Every. Single. Day.
I’m not kidding or exaggerating. Every day I wake up feeling pretty good. Then it just gets better. Surprise visits from all my favorite people, sweet gestures, gifts. Beautiful weather. I could tell you everything that has happened, but just like with people, the bare facts can’t convey the full picture of the joy that has taken up residence in my daily life.
Last year, around June, I started praying to learn about love. From what I understood, based on just what Jesus was saying, Love is the most important thing to get down. Logically, love would be the only way you could accomplish anything God says to do. Therein lies the rub. You can’t approach love logically.
So I started praying to learn about it and all hell broke loose. Lost my job, dogs, and home. My parents separated. Dad spiraled out of control. Mom started drinking. The whole time I wanted to take it back. Pimp Down. I don’t want to know anything else about love.
God didn’t agree. He kept pushing it in my face, starting with the dark side.
And I don’t know when exactly it changed. Somehow, gently and unobtrusively, love crept in to visit with me. Not in front of or around me. In me. All of the sudden, I realize that I’m surrounded on all sides with people I love. I’m starting to think they love me back.
As amazing as that has been, even more awesome is learning about how God loves. I’ve always viewed God as, among other things, an unreachable perfection, slightly scary, and really busy.
He has gone out of his way for the past two months to show me something different. Every day is wonderful, and stamped all over that, like a smile on the inside, is God’s name. He’s letting me know that yes, I’m having an awesome time, yes, it’s ok, and yes, I do love you. I would never have imagined such a lesson.
I’m deeply suspicious of good things. Part of me is worried that this is all a prelude to some great disaster. It’s also occurred to me that I might die young. Mom says I’m being cynical, but I don’t think I’ve ever met someone having as good a run as mine. Just saying.
So to summarize, love is an intrinsic part of happiness. God is better than we can fathom. Some of the best lessons start out the shittiest. And when God’s the teacher, he brings it like a boss.