RocknRolla (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
For a few days every month, I feel really good about myself. Generally I have healthy self-esteem, if not excessive. But for a few days, I feel almost invincible. Happy, playful, beautiful. I feel great in general. I suspect it has something to do with ovulation.
Either way, for those few days, I get a ridiculous amount of attention from the opposite sex. I rack up quite a few phone numbers from people in all kinds of places and situations. It’s true, confidence is attractive to everyone.
During my last…we’ll call it ‘rush hour‘. During my last ‘rush hour’, I met a guy at Walgreens. He seemed nice. Good sense of humor, smoked the same cigarettes as I do. He was also missing an arm.
I had never really considered whether or not that would bother me. I was a little surprised to find that it didn’t. He just…well, didn’t have both arms. I accepted his phone number, and actually got in touch with him.
It took a while for us to get together. I made clear to him up front my distaste for the phone. Not only did he not pester me, he displayed a much appreciated patience. When I postponed, we would reschedule and cease communication until then. I hate intermediate chatter via text with new guys. It leads to a false sense of familiarity, and I’m pretty sure it counts as cheating in the dating game.
His refreshing-and rare-acceptance of my preferences, along with the fact that he actually backed that acceptance with his actions, gave me some hope for our first real meeting. People often agree, but hardly ever follow through. I’ll take a man of action above a man with two arms any day. Words are easy. Putting those same words into action is harder.
Alas, that which starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet, to borrow a phrase from Rocknrolla. He was putting up a front, which fell off quickly enough.
So many numbers and people and fingers. So many possibilities grasped or lost or ignored. I don’t feel up to the challenge of sifting through them. For whatever illogical reason, I thought that perhaps the lack of an extremity hinted at some particular value in this man. It didn’t. He was just a normal guy.
I truly wish I could be content alone. I wish the desire for companionship would wane. I wish I could feel safe and happy and secure all by myself. People are a puzzle that I’m not able to solve. There’s too much that’s specific to each individual. It’s hard nowadays to actually get to know someone. They want too much, too soon.
— Bekkie
the second site 