The Ministry of Mike Warnke

Will he rise from the ashes?

Everyone Has A Story... Again

Does anyone remember the comedian, Mike Warnke? Back when I was in high school, I collected everything that guy ever wrote or recorded. I was a huge fan, and probably one of the most disappointed of his fans when his lies all came crashing down around him.

Mike Warnke first came to fame as an evangelist and comedian. He purported to have been a high-ranking member in the satanic church, and wrote a book called The Satan Seller in 1973 that described his rise in the ranks of satanism, becoming a high priest for the organization. He touted various accomplishments such as being a soldier in the Vietnam war, being involved in ritualistic kidnappings and rape, and other weird confessions, that I actually never really believed were completely true.

If you have never heard one of Mr. Warnke’s stand-up performances, I would encourage you to do…

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Taking the Time to just be Awesome

Growing up in this family has taught me one thing: I’m kind of a big deal. Its not conceit that brings me to this conclusion. If you read any of their posts you can tell that everyone blessed enough to be in this family is a big deal. We’re just awesome.

I have never been comfortable with the ‘when life gives you lemons‘… crap. If life dares to give you lemons you

This image shows a whole and a cut lemon. It is an edit of Image:Lemon.jpg to reduce blown highlights and slightly darken image. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

take those lemons, march up to life’s door, ring the bell and demand apples or oranges or whatever fruit you want. If life refuses then you take the lemons and shove it up life’s ass. You make life your bitch. No forgiveness.

People seem to be under the delusion that they are not in control of their own lives. They wonder why things happen to them and yet make no move to change it. They fall into a pit of self-pity which morphs into a twisted form of self loathing that they feel helpless to get away from it. They become cowardly and weak, but refuse to see the truth of it.

That is why I believe everyone should just take a day every week (like God prescribes) and just lounge. Do whatever you want. If that means laying in your jammies all day playing video games without human contact for no less than 12 hours, then do it.

No one should feel trapped by their own lives. But if you want to live with freedom that approach yourself honestly. I know I’m a big deal because I am comfortable with who I have become. People started thinking that admitting you feel good about yourself is a bad thing because no one is perfect. But liking yourself is not bad. People should know.

Just take a moment and don’t think about what others might think of you. Take that moment and see what you think of yourself. Remember to be honest with yourself, at the end of the day, you are the only person who matters. If you don’t like what you are… change it. It’s that simple. Because we’re all awesome. There is no shame in that.

(I know this steps away from my usual style of writing, but events lately have led to this)

-Bug

The Cost of Doing Business

One thing about my sister Rebekkah is that she comes up with big ideas, but she was always too chicken-shit to execute these plans alone. Hence, Caitlyn and I were always suckered into plans we didn’t always agree with. Caitlyn, being of sound mind, always thought these plans were stupid, but for whatever reason, this time she decide to tag along.

Back when I was 8, Cait was 7, and Bekkie was 9. We were living in Laredo, and because Mom traveled for her

job, and Dad was always working at his restaurant, they hired a Mexican nanny named Gabriella. We loved Gabriella. Rebekkah was always good at picking up other languages, and so she was our interpreter when Gabriella was telling us stories. And some of those stories inspired this epic adventure. Rebekkah decided that we three kids should move to Mexico. Of course, it was a stupid idea, but Bekkie is gifted at getting us to do these plans. Well, let me re-phrase this. She was gifted at getting me to do these things. And I could always be bought with not very much money. This time, it cost her $8.00, all of it mostly change. I was wealthy.

We each went to our rooms and packed our little backpacks and we headed out the back door, giving the appearance that we were just going outside to play. By the time we hit the back gate, which was about 20 feet from the back door, Caitie wised up, and blew off the plan, much to Bekkie’s chagrin. However, I had been paid, and was stuck doing this stupid trip.

Rebekkah and I made it through the gate, but then Bek decided that I should go first, and pave the way for her. So, I took my $8.00 down the road to a friend Davy’s house, and from there we found the raspa man, and spent the $8.00, hung out for a while, and then both of us went back to my house to play video games on my Nintendo 64.

Needless to say, Bekkie was pissed. I spent the $8.00, had a good time, and didn’t pave the way to Mexico. She demanded her money back, but I never gave it back. She owed it to me for coming up with this stupid idea.  After that, she would use this story about going to Mexico over my head to get me to do other stupid things.

I’m so glad we’re adults now. Not that being grown up keeps her from trying anyways… 🙂 Only these days, the prices are higher.

— DJ