I’m detecting a new trend in relationships. Hopefully everyone born in the 80s or earlier remember the good old days. The days when people actually spoke on their phones. Regularly. The days of 2 main forms of communication. Face to face, or voice to voice. E-mail was available, but used mainly for business or long distance friends.
Now we have cells phones. We being everyone. All of us have phones. We have a tiny invisible string coming from our hearts to our phones.
I, however, have broken away. I noticed a disturbing pattern. Guy meets girl in the line of the Walgreens checkout counter. Girl gives guy number. Guy texts. Girls tries to set time for call. guy evades and continues texts. One week later, guy and girl go on awkward first date. Guy gets handsy.
Girl takes off because we just met. Hands off, and who raised you?
Same song and dance, replace Walgreens with work, elevator, Jack in the box. And the more text-conversations that occur, the more familiar these guys are.
The problem with these text foundations are that they don’t hold up. Text messages don’t require instant, organic response. They don’t include any natural inflection. There’s nothing in a text but what the sender wanted you to read. No way to know if they’re lying (and they often are).
My mom joined a dating site post divorce. Same deal. Weeks of ‘getting to know’ someone. Emails, text, eventually the occasional phone call. She leaves the house after three weeks of ‘talking’ to someone, meets them for the first time, and those were soo not their current photos. Get past that, and find out that while they previously ‘respected the fact that you want to get to know them first’ , they’ve decided to find out if they can convince you otherwise.
I think the problem is that you do spend time getting to know someone. Those texts/emails/messages come from a person out there that might be exactly as funny and nice and reliable as they seem to be. Or not. But the longer those impersonal messages go on, the bigger the disappointment when you find out that’s not going to happen.
So I’ve done away with the phone. I’ll have a home phone, and they can leave a message or get lost. 2012 has bred quite a few assholes.